SpeecheS & NOTES

My name is Catherine Tirpak and I lead the Program Management team for New York Times

Advertising where Michael worked for the past two years. During his time with us, he managed

new business with our Finance clients. He produced some of the most impactful work coming

out of the Studio with our award-winning work for Google Pixel and a program called Soul of Us

which was an initiative centered around amplifying black voices about the black experience in

America. He was actively involved in Employee Resource Groups and activities. Last year, our

company changed the way that we approached performance. We introduced Values and

Behaviors as part of that process. Independence, integrity, curiosity, respect, collaboration, and

excellence. Michael embodied every single one of those and more. I say all this because

Michael was no doubt a stellar performer in his job, but his real success was in who he was as a

person. I want to share my own personal experience with Michael, but also share the words

and sentiments from his friends/colleagues who loved him most.

I met Michael for the first time on February 10, 2021. He was interviewing for a Senior Program

Manager role on my team. Due to the pandemic, all of our interviews had become video calls.

The thing about video is that you can’t really hide your expressions on video. The face is all you

have to look at. Of course the very first thing I noticed about Michael was his big, infectious

smile. His warm “hi hi” made it feel like we had known each other for years. He was very

excited to be interviewing at The New York Times. We spoke about his current job and what he

wanted to do next. He had such great experience but it was his passion for what we do, the

ability to sit close to the creative, to champion the work and to work alongside great

people…this is what he seemed most excited about. It wasn’t until I was interviewing Michael

that I realized that I was not only looking for an amazing talent, but I was also looking for

someone who would bring some joy, hope and positivity back into our team at a time when we

needed it most. I found all of that and so much more with Michael. He was my unicorn. He

joined the Times on April 12, 2021. I’m not sure if I ever had the chance to tell him how much

strength he brought to me at that time. I hired 11 more people after Michael. He became my

selling point in recruiting. “There’s this guy on our team whose brightness lights up the

universe…you will be so lucky to work alongside him”. Michael set the bar high. He brought joy

to everyone around him and made us all want to be better. Michael was the sunniest light for

our team. He was kind, generous with his time and knowledge. He led every day with positivity

and partnership. He was graceful, fierce and compassionate. He was sincere, he cared, and he

owned it.

He was endlessly encouraging of others. He showed up with a desire to listen and learn from

his colleagues and friends, and take care of them too. He was always looking for ways to find

common ground. He brought people together and created an atmosphere of warmth, validation,

and collaboration. His ego was nowhere to be found, it was always about the group. This is

what made Michael exceptional at his job. He had the gift of being whatever you needed him to

be, in the moment that you needed him to be it. His instinct was to always put others first.

Bright, cheery, optimistic, calm, collaborative, joyful are only a few of the words that describe

him. His honest and endearing laugh, the way he flipped a small piece of his hair with his

middle finger, his buy-in of a great creative idea , the compassionate side nod of understanding

and his signature call signoff…“peace” are some of the things we all remember most. If you had

the honor of meeting Michael, you immediately felt like he was a friend. It’s hard to fully

understand the scope of Michael‘s impact on the people that he worked with. We all had

different relationships with Michael, yet he made each feel so special, so unique, like something

that was only shared between you two.

It’s been quite difficult for me to express how I’m feeling. It often feels like there are no words.

Michael was my colleague but first and foremost he was my good friend. He always knew how I

was feeling and what to say or when to listen. When I think about his impact - I reflect on how

he always showed up for others, led with empathy, and lit up any room. He was the brightest

light. Michael gave me and others the space to simply be present and empowered us to

consistently show up as our true selves. He understood the importance of fully understanding

someone on a human to human level. He had all the great qualities that are tough to teach and

even more difficult to learn. He was kind, he was generous, he was and is loved.

Michael was gentle, and simply said he was a beautiful soul. We all have so many memories to

share, but they still don’t seem like enough. We long for the years that were stolen from all of

us, but I cling to the smallest form of hope in knowing that he is still with us, smiling down upon

us today, and showing up in the smallest of ways, asking us to take notice that he is very much

still with us.

Grief and loss teaches us about ourselves. There is so much of Michael that we will miss. But

there is so much he left us with. Michael allowed us the opportunity to see him, to hear him, to

laugh and sit in joy with him. And that is not a loss. That is a blessing and a gift, a gift he so

graciously gave to us and those around him. And so, we owe it to Michael to be better to and

for each other, because Michael would have wanted it that way. I ask us to not pray in solemn

anguish, but in heartfelt solace and praise for a light so very bright. Michael, you were adored.

You were cherished by so many. You brought light to everyone around you. May you now light

the way for all of us who are suffering to find the way to peace and joyful memories and to

celebrate every bit of time that we did have with you. Rest easy, my friend.

–Catherine Tirpak

Michael had the most beautiful light. I was so proud to be his manager – delighting in his successes and working through tough questions together, both of which always ended with me telling him how much I appreciated him and the most cheerful “you’re an angel” from him.  

Michael was an expert at celebrating those around him. He was eternally welcoming — as I was writing this I went and looked back at every email I received from him and many were in response to new hire announcements or promotions. He always chimed in to welcome someone to our family or celebrate the successes of others. One that stands out is Sean, our new Head of Industry for the Finance Pod. Michael wrote: “what’s up Powerpod Angels, Heads up, I will be inviting our new HOI Sean to scrum for a casual hello. He’s v cool. Super excited!! Have a great week!!” He used lots of hearts and exclamation points in our communication and I could always feel his energy coming through the screen.  

Michael called so many of us “friend,” both in life and just in every-day communication. “What’s up, friend?” “How’s your day, frand” spelled f-r-a-n-d. We were so lucky to be his friend. Anyone who has talked with me in the recent weeks has heard me say that I wouldn’t be standing without our team and it’s true. We were lucky to have Michael and we are lucky to have each other. So if you’ll indulge a little managerly advice that I know Michael would approve: be there for each other; remember him and his love for his family; and always celebrate the small wins, the good times and the great moments in life.  

Thank you all for coming today in celebration of a very special life.  I would like to welcome Michael’s father for joining us in person to share in the memories that we all hold precious.   

Just over two years ago, most of us hadn’t even met Michael yet.  He came into our lives first as a stranger, then a colleague, then our individual journeys with Michael took shape.  Some of us here today were fortunate to know Michael outside of work and made special memories with him in of course…a black tank top. Others grew close relationships with him within these walls and made memories with him in the slightly longer sleeves of black t-shirts.   

To think of the impact that he has had on our lives in just two years is hard to express. We are all honoring and remembering Michael in different ways and at different times.  Today does not carry the expectation of closure or require us to move on.  The hardest part may still yet come…in the silence, in the anniversaries and birthdays, in the unexpected memories or moments that trigger us out of nowhere. The truth is that he is around us all the time and we have the opportunity to create new, yet different memories even now.  Red has become my accessory color for Michael. Every cardinal that flies into my yard has become Michael saying good morning.  When I come up to the 14th floor for my morning coffee, I take comfort in seeing the bright red carpet being lit up by the rays of sunshine bursting through the large windows.  I find the table that is the brightest and I sit and feel the warmth on my face and it somehow makes the day a little bit easier.  The past month has been a different journey for each of us, but one thing was clear…we didn’t want to rush to honor Michael.  We needed time to begin to process our grief, but also create space to pull those beautiful memories forward, turning the tears to gentle smiles. Today you will hear tributes and stories from some of those who knew him best.  

-Catherine Tirpak

To be honest with you all, this is the last thing I want to be doing. And as I tried to collect my memories of and with Michael to share — going through our text messages, Slacks (DMs and group channels, emails, etc), I could not help but think of all of the things I’d rather be doing. Such as:

●Vaping with Michael

●Dancing with Michael

●Hiding out in secret corners of this very building with Micahel

●Sipping coffee with Michael

●Finding food with Michael

●Talking about dating with Micheal

●Talking about food with Michael

●Talking about apartment hunting with Michael

●Talking about our love of Mad Men

●Talking about the expansiveness of the universe with Michael, and how nothing and everything made perfect sense

●Talking about our hopes and dreams for this life and beyond

The Times has this way of surrounding me with people who make me want to be better. I had the good fortune of being paired up with Michael on the Finance Pod when I started here, a little over a year and a half ago now. Michael was everything I could have asked for in a Pod Partner: wicked smart, full of great experience, incredibly supportive, considerate, protective, empathetic, and kind. He was the blueprint for an effective PM. We had incredible chemistry; often joking about our ability to communicate telepathically and finish each other's sentences, which we affectionately called “brain syncing”. We lifted each other up.

And as I understand it, there were no plans to split us up despite our shifting roles. How lucky was I to have found my match. I learned a whole lot from Michael. And not just how to be an excellent PM, but also how to be an excellent human being, sharing time and space with other human beings. He was above and beyond, in every way.

Even harder than describing Micahel’s indescribable essence, is describing the void that Michael has left behind. And while this void will never be able to be filled, I find comfort knowing that this void can, at the very least, be honored.

So, I want to thank you all, for giving us the space to honor and celebrate the indescribable Michael Wei, whose contributions to and impact on this team, this organization — and me, personally — are quite simply beyond words.

Rest easy, Michael. I am still wishing you all the peace, now in the great beyond, wherever that may be.

–Brenna Grant

During my time in the working world, I’ve had so many conversations about separating the personal and the professional – the act of separating your personal life from your life at work, and not bringing your work life into your personal life.

The first time I met Michael was in April of 2021 on a TBrand Zoom call about Verizon 5G. I was at work, but being that we were still in the midst of the pandemic, I was in my home. And I couldn’t help but notice that Michael’s Zoom background from his home looked conspicuously like the kitchen I had spent so many nights inside of with a gaggle of friends at a brownstone in Bushwick. So while on the call with over 10 internal stakeholders, I just had to ask him if he was living in the Macon house with the rest of the boys. Michael being Michael, he enthusiastically replied “Oh my god, yasss!“, I was like “OMG I’ve partied there before!“, and we just started laughing about it.  At some point somebody asked if we wanted our own separate breakout room to just talk to each other.

Over the next couple months, Michael and I would run into each other at parties outside of work. As a fellow child of asian immigrants, a man working in advertising in the city, someone with a younger brother that he felt deeply connected to, I connected with Michael on a lot of levels. Despite his positivity and gentleness, I could tell there was so much depth underneath the surface.

Soon we’d go to Fire Island together. As an invitee into an almost exclusively gay world, I felt so honored and excited to be in the presence of so much beautiful positive energy between men. My own life was fraught with male relationships that had fallen apart due to lack of communication, or lack of empathy. On the island, I felt kindredship with Michael and the rest of the men there. I felt freedom and inclusion. I felt purified in spirit.

When we’d run into each other in the office, instead of giving each other a standard head-nod or handshake, we’d give each other a big hug and call each other “bb”, and “sweetie”, and “lovee”. In short, even in the professional world, it was impossible not to transcend into the personal. This was Michael’s power.

The last time I saw Michael was at a Taylor Swift DJ night at 3 Dollar Bill in Williamsburg. Although he was on a Taylor Swift groupchat with my wife, a fellow swiftie, and some other friends, I decided to go (only partially against my will). I have visions of him in the party lights, smiling at the ceiling, hands in the air. This is how I remember Michael.

I choose not to dwell on Michael’s untimely passing. I choose to remember our connection, how he brought out the best in me, and how he always made it personal for me.

We are people. And even though we are in this business of ads, and products, and work...so much work... Michael made it all personal.

–Neil Anand

We are gathered here today to honor the memory of our friend and colleague, Michael. Michael was an exceptional person who touched the lives of everyone he encountered. He was a mentor, a bright light, and a true friend.  

I had the privilege of working closely with Michael over the past couple of years. We would sit in front of each other when we were in the office and get lunch or “snackies' as he liked to call them. Michael always knew how I was feeling without me even having to say anything. He empowered me and others to be the best, truest versions of ourselves. One of his many superpowers.  

Michael’s kindness, generosity, and positive attitude were infectious. He always had a kind word to say, and he would often send me a quick text or slack with a “you’re amazing” when he knew I was feeling a certain way. He always just knew.  

There were many moments when I’d be rambling on about meditating or a new wellness ritual and Michael would be talking about the last party he went to and how fun it was or wasn’t. We were different but we had an unspoken understanding of each other. There was never any room for judgment with Michael.

We worked on a difficult program together for several months and at the end of every day - on what seemed like the millionth call of the day - Michael would often slack me ….. And I’d slack back ….. We’d look up at each other and silently laugh - both beyond the point of retaining any more information. He’d slack me - let’s chat after. I really wish I could have one more of those chats.

My favorite morning memory would be walking into the office, seeing Michael in his all black attire (I’d be wearing the same) - look up and hear him say “twins!” Or how we’d sit on the 15th floor…chatting away until one of us would realize the time and quickly say, “time to get back to reality.”  

I miss how he called me his “long dinner by a fireplace” friend and how he quickly became my go-to at work. When working together, I remember how Michael would say that “we were here for each other” every single day. He always led with empathy.  

Michael, there’s no such thing as goodbye. You will forever be with me. Even on the gloomiest of days - you’re my symbol of hope - my butterfly in the sky. I will always cherish the memories we shared.  

I know there’s a diner somewhere…waiting for us and our long conversations. Thank you for everything. Miss you. Rest in peace, my dear friend.  

–Pooja Dhar  

Michael was one of the first people I met at T Brand Studio. As the lead project manager for the finance pod, we spoke, met and Slacked each other daily. I was a tad nervous about joining T Brand because it was a new opportunity, and I was coming from the print side of the business to the advertising side, which was a whole new world for me.  

Michael was such a big part of my success at the company.
 

He was the consummate professional – always intelligent, supportive and quick to answer my questions. The beauty of his replies was that he didn’t just give a quick answer. Michael took his time because helping was important to him. He offered context clues, definitions, examples and links, which improved everything. It was almost as if he took a 360-degree approach to addressing an issue or concern.
 

In fact, by the time he sent the intel or met with me for five minutes after a client call, I was a bonafide genius!!!
 

What did I love most about working with him? Michael was efficient and fast. He even walked fast. I recall hustling back to the office from a holiday party with Michael and another colleague last year. He walked so fast I was huffing and puffing when we returned to The New York Times. I was like, “Lawd, this chile walks fast!”
 

Always the perfect gentleman, Michael waited for me at each light — but I still had to double time it! Later, I learned he was a volleyball player, which made perfect sense.
 

I think about Michael often. I can see his infectious smile, hear his hearty laugh and witness his humble spirit. I  always felt seen, heard and safe in his presence — no ill will, no airs. Just kind, thoughtful and deliberate in his work ethic. It’s what I call Signature, Michael.  

I have so many special moments with Michael.
 

Michael taught me that protecting my time was the key to completing my work with minimal stress; Michael sent me healing energy alongside a prayer emoji when I was sick; and Michael loved every word I wrote — even if I thought it sucked. After turning in each deliverable, he would say, “Love It!” Michael also checked in with me before every client call, kickoff meeting and storytelling pivot to ensure I was feeling good about the next steps. Some may say that’s what a good PM does. I say that’s how a great leader leads.
 

As we worked together daily, I noticed that Michael was many things to many people at our company:
 

Conductor of the finance pod train  

Educator of all things T Brand  

A cheerleader for every member of our team   

Defender of an editor’s time and resourcing   

A Mentor to the PMs  

And, a friend to all   

I think, more than anything, I’ll miss his kindness and support. After one client presentation, he wrote: “You KILLED It!” Then, he said: “I continue to be in awe of your listening, storytelling and tactical talent!”
 

That level of support can make a person feel whole, especially in our fast-paced environment.  That’s what Michael Wei did for me. For that, I will always be grateful.  

Rest easy, my friend.  

~Tanisha

The best communities are created, I think, unintentionally,

from openhearted, uncertain attempts at connection.

Michael, Uyen, Pooja, and I,

Squished together at a cocktail bar in January.

In person at last, and a first for me,

this new camaraderie, our personalities

revealing themselves accidentally––

Michael was who he was without trying to be.

He found his way to each of us here,

joining in our strange taxonomies.

He slacked us, celebrated us,

supported us, challenged us.

His laugh, his listening face,

the way he threw his head back,

the flourish of his words––

he once called me a “guardian angel”––

it was all stitched into the fabric of our days,

mixed into the voice of our cobbled-together community.

We couldn’t help but count on it,

at the start of another day,

on our screens and in our briefs,

our private chats and team meets,

where we made eyes, furtively,

with a man so skilled

at making us feel especially seen.

Michael was an example of exuberance, on the one hand.

I don’t know what’s on the other.

Michael was a hype man,

he was wind in your sails

when you thought the day was stagnant and gray.

I thought he took things in stride,

I took that for granted.

I come to each day here, knowing now

there’s no guarantee

that the whole truth lies in what I see.

Michael, who was like a rock to me,

solid, measured, a touchstone,

encouraging me to let it be,

was more like a current

catching and letting go inexplicably.

There was nothing any one of us could have done.

However empathetic or in tune.

We give ourselves over to this shared project,

we look out for each other, I hope,

but we can only know what we know, which,

even now, is obscured by the curtain

drawn over Michael’s beautiful life.

This became something like a poem,

or a longing

for long-lasting meaning from this tragedy.

For a larger share of truth

tucked between words and memories:

Michael drawing in bright colors

at a bar beside me

thanks to last-minute invites from Danny.

Nicole and Neil at backyard birthday parties.

Cat and Katie and their boundless bravery.

Cries on ready shoulders

in rooms where we thought he’d be.  

From his life, and loss, and mystery,

a sadness that contains what we care for,

a lesson in what we endure for,

a closeness we didn’t even ask for,

in this, his unintentional, and unforgettable, community.

– Ben  

Michael From Jon

Like most of us here.. I knew Michael through work, so it makes sense that many of the words we shared via Email, Slack, iMessage, and Instagram contain work verbiage.

Him: “Link is working for me!!”
Me: “Weird… I tried it a few times before pinging you”

But also

Me: “I love your new headshot; the off-brand t-shit tho.. Haha”

Him: “yessss I bought it at bushwig LOL”

Among other things I won’t share in this context.

But even the most “work-y” of phrases can be delivered as a message of care by the right person. In response to one of my thoroughSlack replies to a relatively simple question, Michael replied “it’s very, very appreciated just wanna make sure ur protecting your time!!” And he meant it.

Most of our relationship was unrelated to work, as we only bumped into each other professionally ever now and then. It took the form of coffees, lunches, hallway chats, and other course post-work drinks with our fellow queers.

To me–as to so many of us–Michael was a beacon of encouragement, intelligence, and humor.

And on a more personal note, he was role model to me for what it means to be queer in the workplace.

When I joined The Times at the end of 2021, it was the first workplace where I was openly gay. Having come out fully just years prior, I’d kept my sexuality and identity private to a large extent, and in a way that was based in a mix of self-protection and control.

But with The Times, I was ready to be myself openly, and Michael was and is the exact type of queer-identifying person I wanted to emulate. He could work and werk.

His gracious and encouraging spirit made me feel welcome and valid as I sought to bring my full self to the workplace–a gift I will take with me for the rest of my life.

Thank you, Michael, for the impact you had on my life.

Over the last few weeks, I have re-read every text, slack, and Instagram DM going back to MIchael and I’s very first. It was consistent that Michael checks-in often, not just on our projects at work but also on me. As a person and as a friend. He also said yes, without hesitation, to almost everything I invited him to – dinners, drink & draws, drag shows, big gay parties, small gay parties, parties that just weren’t gay enough at all. 

Once he even came with me to a party clown's birthday party where everyone who attended was also a party clown, in full costume. Circus facepaint, big shoes, balloon animals, all of it.  He was a good sport. Even so kind to say “oh my god this is so fun.” — It was not fun and he was so relieved to find out that I was also overwhelmed and we both wanted to get out of there.

Regardless of our surroundings, Michael radiated a magical swirl of optimism and witty sass and he never diminished his authenticity. 

We bonded through our queer chaotic lives and also had honest discussions about our different experiences in navigating how we exist in the gay community— stigmas and where to find confidence when we don’t feel like we have enough. Michael has been a consistent anchor and close friend, both at work as well as in our lives beyond NYT. 

I will forever cherish the time, after one of our department happy hours, a few of us continued our night and a stranger at a bar said something rude to Nick Garber. Michael and I immediately turned into protective gay mother’s and clapped back at that bully so cartoonishly that it resulted in a very giggly walk home between Myself, Manuel, Nick, Evyln, and Michael.

I’ve racked my brain trying to remember the last time I hugged Michael— Was it after a dinner party at my apartment or if it was in the office after a work day? I don’t know, but I will never forget the first time I hugged him— standing in a river in Pennsylvania… surrounded by a bunch of happy queers in speedo’s, sipping margaritas. That hug is where Michael went from co-worker to friend and he will be in my heart every time I hug a new friend.

… In the words of Ms. Swift, Michael “It was enchanting to meet you.”

-- Danny Walton